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TOP TWO REDONKULOUSLY AWESOME SEASONAL DESSERTS THAT I DO NOT MAKE MYSELF

The holidays are all about eating things that you wouldn’t normally eat. And drinking things you wouldn’t normally drink. Kinda like in October, when you have been getting regular coffee all year, and you drive through Starbucks and willingly say “Yes, I WILL take a grande pumpkin latte. It’s October. Thank you.” It’s just the right thing to do.

Fast forward to December. I’m going to tell you about two sweet treats that scream “THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE! THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE! with every bite you take. Oh and these are in the “Christmas treats I don’t bake myself” category.

Do yourself a favor, go order a dozen or so of my number one pick. Tell ‘em Shelley sent you. They know me.

As for number two, just go one of the bazillion Starbucks around and get yourself one. Tell ‘em Shelley sent you. Say it real serious and see what they say. Just for fun.

OK.

Number 1. (Stop reading right now if you are a family member or even a remotely close friend of mine because you already know about these as I have most likely force fed you one. Just move on down to number 2.)

About 5 years ago, Heather, who was the fourth point before she retired a couple years back, walked in to soundcheck on our Christmas tour from a day of shopping and said, “OMG, I FOUND IT!” Actually she probably didn’t say OMG, because she never really said that. ”Found what?” we asked. “The greatest iced sugar cookie ever baked,” she told us. She knew of my great obsession with all things vanilla sugar cookie with butter cream icing. She happened upon a little cookie store at a mall called “Blondie’s.” We came to find out that they were a small family operation based in Indiana, and we started ordering all our corporate Christmas gifts from them from that point on.

Which reminds me I need to do that. Or have my assistant do that. Which means me. Because I am my own assistant right now. Because my real- albeit unpaid- assistant decided to move to Africa. For real.

So here they are. And I swear I DO NOT lead people astray on food. Maybe on other things. But not food. These have this other-worldly buttery soft cookie dough, baked just right (meaning they are not hard and crunchy AT ALL) with a shortbread like flavor. And the frosting. REDOOOOOOOOOOOOONK.

You can thank me later. Or send me some. Blondie’s has my address.

I should mention that all of their cookies and baked goods are incredible, but what you want to order for sure are what you see above. They are called the “Sprinkles.” And don’t worry, this is the only picture I could find, but they will be sprinkled red and green if you get them during the holidays.

I should also mention that they aren’t fat free.

Number 2. Cranberry Bliss Bars. Starbucks. Have you HAD these??? OMG.

OMG OMG OMG. So surprisingly good. I mean, we’ve all seen the cardboard boxes sitting on the back counter at Starbucks with the pastries and stuff in them. It’s no secret that they don’t bake all that stuff in house. But seriously, most of their stuff is pretty darn good. I mean, like really moist and delicious. You’d never know they all came in the mail in card board boxes if they didn’t leave them sitting around so we could all see them. Pretty impressive really if you think about it.

Onward. Cranberry Bliss Bars. They are- well- Bliss. Seriously.

Lemme describe….these are sorta like a chocolate chip cookie DOUGH, but with WHITE chocolate chips and some dried cranberries. Very moist and chunky with the chips. Sweet with just the slightest hint of salt. Then there’s this cream cheese frosting. With these dried cranberries. AAAAAAAAND, this like orangish-tasting drizzle. Oh, the drizzle…

Mommy. Help me. I can’t stop eating them. Oh, and you can buy them by the dang box. And it’s a cute box. So it makes you want to buy it. Kinda like you want to drink real coke during the holidays cause Santa is on the can. So much more fun than the snowflake on the diet coke can.

So, go get a grande Pike Place and have yourself one of these.

Oh, and I looked it up on google. One website said 320 calories per bar, one said 290. I’m going with the latter. It’s Christmas.

Wanna know when I looked it up? The other day, while simultaneously eating one and watching the Food Network. Yep. I was googling “Calories in a Cranberry Bliss Bar” while I was doing that. What a weirdo.